The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's rum buckets o'clock
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
