Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
