discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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