my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
