I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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