Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i've created a new STD.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
