i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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