I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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