Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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