she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
