I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
