So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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