White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
