my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
