Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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