just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
