Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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