grandma shit on top of the toilet
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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