Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
