He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
