dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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