and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
