I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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