She announced her abortion via fbk
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
