if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
