David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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