sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
