When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
