Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
