While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
