Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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