let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
