so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
