kristin has been a bad kristin
if only i could text you this smell
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
