just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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