Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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