Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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