I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
