It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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