The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
