I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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