Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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