well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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