This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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