Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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