the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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