you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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