I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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