Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
