upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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