when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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