Can Purell be used as lube?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
