just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
