Kiss
Puke
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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