I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My vagina just recognized that song.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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