Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
