shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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