I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
