Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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