"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
